****** RACHAEL *******

Memories are funny things! Some disappear completely, some fade and become so faint they are only remnants to grab and hold on to but some are indelibly burned into our minds and hearts!  It is those memories that when recalled transport you to the very moment when the memory was in the making.  You can remember sounds, smells, the temperature and especially the emotions.  It's the equivalent of total recall and it can be a wonderful thing! The day Rachael was born is one of those total recall days for me and tomorrow morning at 7:32 am, I can relive it all - 30 years later!  Yes, Rachael will be 30 years old tomorrow and I am as shocked as you are!

On midnight the night before she was born I woke up in labor, it was 14 degrees outside, we were an hour from the hospital, had a volkswagon as our only transportation and my pains were five minutes apart! By the time we called the hospital, threw our stuff in the car, I brushed my teeth and layered on clothes for the trip, my pains were one minute apart and coming hard!!  You would think I would be freaking out but it's really hard to do that when you are in so much pain you are incapable of opening your mouth! We made it, in plenty of time, and we spent the remainder of the night medicated, still having pains one minute apart, and waiting for that epidural everyone was always talking about.  Back then you had to be 8cm before they would do that - I never made it.  Some time early in the morning the umbilical cord got between Rachael's head and my pelvic bone and each time I had a contraction, which was still every minute, her oxygen would be cut off.  At 7:00 that morning they told us what was happening, that she was in distress and I would have to have a c-section!  Fine with me, I was already petrified anyway and had been for nine months!  For those who don't know my history Rachael was my fifth pregnancy; after four miscarriages and a stillbirth, there was never a moment when I was not waiting for the door to open and heartbreak to walk in and take over!

When my doctor woke me up after the surgery and told me she was fine I can still remember the feeling I had, in fact, I have that same feeling as I write this - I was overcome with joy, peace and relief!  I will NEVER forget the first time I laid eyes on her!  I cried and cried and cried and I am crying now as I write this so let's move on!! Shortly after I got to my room I couldn't believe how much pain I was in when a nurse came in and brought Rachael for me to feed.  When I told her I didn't think I could because of the pain, she turned and started to leave the room!  I asked her if I could just keep her with me for a while and she laid Rachael in my arms. There are no words to describe what I felt!  I just knew that I was looking into the sweet face of a miracle and I was so blessed I could physically feel it!  For the first time in my life I knew what it meant to love unconditionally and without reserve and today that is still the way I love Rachael - unconditionally and without reserve!

Rachael grew up and became my compliant child. In 12 years I never had a teacher that didn't tell me they wished they had a classroom full of kids just like her! Don't get me wrong, I said she was compliant, I didn't say she was perfect. Her Daddy always told her she was perfect until she told him tearfully, when she was a teenager, that she was NOT perfect and she couldn't live up to his expectations!  Truth be known it was Rachael's expectations of herself that were the hardest to deal with! Once she set her mind to something if it didn't work out the way she thought it was supposed to, if she fell through the cracks somehow, if she fell short of her goals, she was crushed. She would fight her way through the initial pain and then she would resolve to find a way to get what she wanted!  In junior high school she was so shy but she had a wonderful circle of friends who helped her break that shell. When she was a freshman in high school she was nominated as one of the contestants in the annual Beauty and Beau contest. The pageant was wonderful and her close friends were in the pageant, too, so it was easier for her to spotlight herself that way.  She was in the pageant every year through graduation and not only that pageant but she actually entered several other pageants to my disbelief! I have always believed it was simply because she knew if she put herself out there it would help her overcome some of her shyness and she was right!

I remember when she was packing to go away to Auburn; I was so excited for her even though I knew I was going to miss her and our relationship would be forever changed.  She was packing boxes and cleaning our her closet, taking everything, even her school yearbooks. I reminded her that we had a lot more space at home than she had in her apartment and she could box some things up and leave them with us.  She looked at me with an expression that clearly screamed, "Poor Mom, she just doesn't get it" and she said, "Mom, when I leave here tomorrow for Auburn I won't be coming back to live only to visit"!  That was something I had never considered but she was right!  She went to Auburn , met the man of her dreams, graduated, moved to Georgia, started teaching and got married two months later.  Her wedding day is another 'total recall' day for me and this is my favorite picture of her made that day!

After we moved to Florida Rachael flew here to spend her winter break with us and she brought me an extra birthday present.  It turned out to be a sonogram picture of my precious grandson Carson!  She had the picture perfect pregnancy, kept a complete photo journal on a website so we could all share in Carson's journey and felt great the entire time!  He was born in September of 2006 and my baby became a Mom!!  The second time around her pregnancy was a lot more difficult, she was away from her family and felt it deeper than she had with Carson so it was hard for her.  I just wanted to hold her and have her sit with me so I could tell her it would be okay but she made the best of it and in March 2009 we were blessed with beautiful Mary Claire!  Rachael is probably the only person I know whose pregnancies actually depict the personality of her children.  Calm, uneventful pregnancy with Carson and he is her "go with the flow" child!  Stressful pregnancy with Mary Claire and the only flow she goes with is HERS! I always say she is uniquely unique!  She is the Yin to Carson's Yang!  Carson cries when he is distressed, sick or gets badly hurt!  Mary Claire cries because the dog walked by her!   Rachael is a wonderful Mom and it does my heart good just to watch her operate in that capacity!  She is efficient, organized and above all else, she and her children are color-coordinated!!

Simply put, Rachael is everything I always wanted to be!  She is the woman I admire the most of all the women I know! She has wonderful friends because she is a wonderful friend, she is a great Mom because she puts all she has into it, she is the perfect wife because she knows that compromise makes a marriage work.  I have never had the privilege of observing Rachael teach but listening to her talk about the kids she teaches and knowing they are her heart, I don't have to observe her to know she is good at what she does! But just like we all know, those people who seem to have it all, seem to have it all together and seem to fall on their feet regardless of the situation, they are the ones who fall the hardest and who feel the most pain!  Rachael knows when she has those times, I am there for her and that she can talk to me about the things you can't share with anyone, except someone who loves you simply because you are YOU!

So Rachael - here's to you sweetheart!  I salute you for all you are!!!  You should be proud of your accomplishments, proud of the life you have made for yourself, proud that you are a loving wife and a wonderful Mother!  Be proud of the goals that you have achieved and know that God shines on those who walk in His favor as I know you do! It gives me peace to know that when I need that one person to talk to, share with or to cry with - I know I can count on you and I thank you for that!!

Happy BIRTHDAY!!!    I love you to the moon and back...........MOM!!

Carson and Mary Claire!!